“We Are More Beautiful in the Aftermath”: Allowing Vulnerability to Break Through

Karina Hornberger, watercolorist and fellow in this year’s cohort of Arts Fellowship Orlando, says, “This has been an absolutely pivotal moment for me as an artist and as a Christian. And I know this is providing foundational blocks for me as I go on from here. So thank you so much. It’s made such a difference.”

“One of my favorite things I’ve learned was the concept of kintsugi art,” says Karina Hornberger, a largely self-taught watercolorist in this year’s cohort of Arts Fellowship Orlando (AFO) fellows. Kintsugi is an art form where the artist takes broken pottery and mends it back together with streaks of gold, creating something even more stunning out of what was once shattered. 

Karina was feeling a lack in her life, in herself. She was struggling. She had recently graduated from Rollins College and hadn’t been able to land any work in the art world yet, and she no longer had the spiritual and artistic mentorship she’d enjoyed in college through her InterVarsity leader and professors. She missed having someone to speak into her life. 

Yearning for direction, she reached out to her old InterVarsity leader. He himself had been a part of an arts fellowship program at one time, and he’d heard about AFO. He encouraged her to apply. She says, “I didn’t even know about the community aspect or what I would be doing for my project. I originally applied for the mentorship. When I found out about what it was all about, I thought to myself, ‘I want this.’”

Simultaneously, Karina was starting to explore a new way of art for her—prayer through art. A creative prayer. It was her first taste of what would come to fruition within the AFO program. 

In college, and all growing up, art and faith had been equally important to her, and entirely separate. College was an incredibly formative time for her both spiritually and artistically, but art and faith were two identities flourishing parallel to each other. She explains, “I was co-leading our InterVarsity chapter, leading small groups, attending conferences, going to church together, but when it came to art, it was a whole other world, a whole other friend group.” 

In the AFO program, made possible by Heart of the City Foundation donors like you, art and faith have finally, irreversibly come together for Karina. Between the spiritual mentorship, weekly mentorship, and career mentorship, her understanding of God as creator has transformed her understanding of herself as artist. 

“One thing that was so cool was the revelation that God is also an artist, that God is not just a God of functionality but also of beauty,” she says, “For instance, God creating the ephod of Aaron with blue pomegranates along the hem, and creating the tabernacle to be this gold, ornate, highly detailed, highly skilled piece of artwork to hold his presence in. And I bear the image of God as an artist, too, on a much smaller, smaller scale.” 

Another way the program has been transformative for Karina is how it’s inspired her to be truly vulnerable in her artwork for the first time. She shares, “Before, my artwork was removed from me. I never allowed my personal thoughts and emotions to be infused into my artwork. I think this is a new stage God has been trying to grow in me—not just painting a pretty picture, but presenting the hardships, too, and being able to talk about that. People get to see a different side of me.” 

For her final project, which she will present at AFO’s 2023 Showcase, Karina has created five professional versions of her creative prayers in watercolor. “I had this realization when I started this project,” she says, “that I wanted to do these creative prayers, but I would have to be vulnerable. It’s allowing me to communicate to people a whole other side of me that I never would have. It’s drawn me closer to my friends and family, sharing about my artwork and the things that are happening within me.” 

The first painting within her collection will feature a tribute to the concept of kintsugi pottery, the concept with a theological crossover that perhaps impacted her most throughout her time in the AFO program—the breaking, the vulnerability within, the transforming into something even more awe-inspiring. Karina says, “We are more beautiful in the aftermath. In our weakness, God’s strength can be glorified.”

We are excited for AFO’s 2023 Showcase, Now & Not Yet: Unconventional Expressions of Faith, to take place at Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts on Sunday, July 9th at 7 PM. The showcase is sold out, but you can still go to https://collaborativeorlando.com/arts-fellowship-orlando/showcase2023/ to learn more about the showcase, the other fellows, and the guest artists!