“God Really Delights in You”
Orlando Heart of the City Fellows ‘23-’24 alum Emma Allen (bottom row, center) says, “I’m so grateful, we’re all so grateful. A big thing that the whole group would say is Orlando Fellows has been so generous to us and this is a time when we received more from others than we’ve ever received in our lives. And that’s because of people—because of donors, because of the Foundation, because of the church. It’s just amazing. It’s cool to be a part of that.”
In college, Emma Allen had immersed herself in a flurry of educational and spiritual activities with the subconscious conviction that endless effort was God’s measure of love for her. Then she spent a year in the Orlando Heart of the City Fellows program, unraveling herself and gently tuning in to God’s true vision of her. Although she is still her ambitious, passionate self, she now lives more freely, knowing God delights in her as she is.
Emma had just graduated from Stanford University with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications, and above all else, she was craving community. While deciding what she wanted to do after graduation, she spoke to Director of Orlando Fellows Bret Allen and to past fellows of the program, hearing time and again how they loved the close-knit community within the program and at First Presbyterian Church of Orlando. She knew she wanted to be a part of it.
Emma (bottom row, second from left) and the other Orlando Fellows enjoying a Fun Day at Universal Islands of Adventure!
As the program began, despite her desire for community, she was swiftly met with deeply rooted anxiety in being vulnerable with other people. Suddenly, she was being asked to share her testimony with the other fellows, and all throughout each week, they were checking up on each other and asking hard and deep questions.
“There were certain parts of my life I had not ever shared with anyone or just certain things that, as the week goes on, I’m not used to sharing. I would suppress them. That was a big challenge during the year for me because after sharing I always felt so uncomfortable,” Emma laughs, “I would think, I hate that these people know so much about me.”
At the same time, Emma was having realizations about the way she relates to herself and to God. She shares, “I definitely saw God as someone who was more pleased with me when I had my hands in everything and was doing things perfectly and never messing up and disappointing people. I thought, ‘God’s happy with me because people are happy with me and I’m doing a lot of good things.’”
Emma’s beliefs about God and herself didn’t yet leave space for the shine and shadows of vulnerability. Each day, she determinedly stretched herself, and Bret and her new friends in the program tenderly and continuously spoke into her the truth of God’s unconditional love for her: “God loves you because that’s who God is. God really delights in you.”
During the program, Emma (right) had the joy of interning with The Scout Guide Orlando, a city guide dedicated to supporting local businesses in Orlando. Each year, they compile a beautiful coffee table book full of the best Orlando has to offer. Here is Emma with the The Scout Guide Orlando team at their launch party for Volume 4!
Throughout the year, she and the other fellows engaged in exceptional opportunities to expand and deepen their understanding of themselves, God, and what it is to live in community. They listened to moving sermons, enjoyed invaluable internships (Emma’s was with The Scout Guide Orlando), lived with amazing host families, went on transformational excursions, and more. One of those opportunities was a stay at Mepkin Abbey in South Carolina for a silent retreat.
“It’s something that scares pretty much everyone going into Fellows—being completely silent for a week with nothing but your Bible and a journal. It definitely intimidated me,” she says, “That week, I thought, I’m going to get lost in my thoughts, I’m going to get anxious, I’m going to hear my own voice that tells me terrible things about myself. But at the end of the week, I feel like God just kept saying, ‘I love you.’ It’s God’s gentle and kind voice that is so much sweeter than my own.”
Finally, Emma felt it sink in: “I don’t need to do anything but be me—exist—and God is satisfied with me.”
Now Emma’s life has changed forever. She couldn’t feel more blessed to now see herself through God’s eyes and to freely embrace vulnerability. She says, “In relationships now, moving forward, for the rest of my life, I think, Wow, now I feel comfortable sharing and encouraging other people to share and to just be more transparent and real with people, because being known that deeply and also loved is so special.”
Thank you to each and every one of our Heart of the City Foundation family for investing in the hearts, minds, and spirits of young people like Emma through the Orlando Heart of the City Fellows. It’s because of your generosity that Emma and other young people are learning life-changing truths about God’s love in rich community, and that the Foundation is sustaining and extending the reach of our church through these future leaders.
